I’m Sending You Off, You Did Well

That heavy breath
Can I possibly understand what it means
All I knew you are hurting
All I knew there is pain
All I knew, no I knew nothing
That hurt inside of you
That void inside of you
That emptiness in your heart
I want to comfort you
Even if it is only in words
Even if it meant nothing now
I want to tell you its okay

Your sigh
If only I knew what it means back then
But I was fooled by your smile
I was fooled by the happy angel
I was oblivion behind that shining star
Lies a thousand, no million hurts
I thought you are okay
Little did I knew your killing inside
I want to scream at you
But who am I kidding
I don’t know anything
How could I possibly understand

So right now
I want to send you off
You did well
You did well
You save a thousand life
You inspired millions
You put a smile on everyone who you have meet
You did good
So I’m sending you with a smile
I will not cry anymore

From others eye, it might not look okay
Like the small sigh
That can make somebody down
But I knew now
That was from a hard day
From the swirling emotions
So it’s okay
Take a deep breath
Let it out
It’s okay to be out of breath
That heavy breath
I knew now
Your sigh
Although we didn’t know it back then
It’s okay
I will hold you
You’ve worked hard
Rest now
You did well
Kim Jonghyung

 

Thank you, for the 10 years, the laughter, the comfort, and advice you give in the air. Not only to your fans but to everyone who listens to you. Jonghyung who have the voice of an angel, rest now. Time will heal and those you are hurt deeply will smile not might be right now but time will come. – Alex, Shawol.Light.Inspirit

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One Last Time

In the memories of victims of Mancherster Arena bombing and in support to Ariana’s benefit concert. I am your fan from the other side of the world. 

Stay. Stay with me. For one last time even if I didn’t deserve it. One more time, One last time I want to be the one who takes you home. That one who will see you safely to your home. The one that you’ll last see as you close the door. Selfish. The one who is beside you will you open your eyes. The one who will first saw your smile. Can’t you?..

I lied. I gave into the fire. It was my fault. I have you yet it was not enough reason for me to fought. Even if it I know I would loss you yet I choose that decision. I am not proud of that honesty. I don’t want to defend my answer. It was all my fault. I have failed you. I feel like a failure. No scratch that I am a failure. I have failed you. I should have done better than that. Cause you and me don’t want to have a liar love. I should have done better than to give in. Forgive me. 

I don’t deserve you. I know. I know it after all I have done. Who am I to selfishly keep you for myself. I have no more place in your heart. Someone has already replace me. The one who had given you everything I cannot. The one who did everything I cannot. But I don’t care. I don’t care if you had someone else. Selfish as I am. Hear me for one last time. Stay. Stay with me. For one last time even if I didn’t deserve it. One more time, One last time I want to be the one who takes you home. Who will see you safely to your home.

Stay with me a minute, I’ll swear I’ll make it worth it.

Curse of Contradiction

As Fairy Tail is about to close the curtain. The latest manga chapter left a mixed emotions on me and it still lingers (FT after all is my all time favorite anime). I’m happy yet sad at the same time (Indeed the curse of contradiction the even readers emotions was in contradiction). That I really cry will reading and re-reading it. (It happens a lot with animes and mangas. I cried when Ace died same when L died as well as Jiraya died and lots others.) Every since the characters of Mavis and Zeref came out I already know they had deep connections. But it was not until Fairy Tail Zero that their tragic relationship was told. Their love story is one of the best I have read in any mangas and watch in anime. (This is my opinion from all I have watch.) In fact I find the love story of Fairy Tail very beautiful if you put comedy aside. 

The love story of a boy who had jet black girl and the bare foot girl that started with the curse and ended with a curse. Zeref the reason why Fairy Tail was able to exist and Mavis the first Master of the guild both immortal with the same curse but one love prevails at the past and killed the other one. At the moment I have read the chapter of Mavis death the first thing that comes to my mind was Zeref curse most be greater and stronger than Mavis as he was able to kill him (I was thinking that obviously they are in love with each other as portrayed in FT Zero but since Zeref was the original curse so yeah his might be strong.) but as the more the story reveals the fact that nothing can beat/kill him. I started to think that would Mavis be able to kill him since she had the same curse the same reason might apply to kill Zeref. 

And the latest chapter answer that question. Mavis was indeed in love with Zeref but it was surpassed with other feelings. She looks up to Zeref. She is grateful to him. She is everything she dream of. She had a strong affection on him that at that time she was not able to identify that it was love. But Zeref on the other hand has pure love for Mavis no other feelings but direct love on her. Her being the only human that was not scared of his curse. Not afraid of him and without hesitation hug him.

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There final kissed and their final exchange of words really felt hurtful,  I can feel the regret yet love at the same time. It was bitter sweet. Even I hope for a happy ending for both of them and I got it but in the after life. (I was already preparing my heart for this. A love in their life at the moment wold really impossible.) But at least it was not like the other animes where one only lives as the other sacrifice. So let’s stay tuned for the endings of the other pairs on the series. 

Ending My 2017 Summer

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“Time is almost up! School bells are ringing, calling us back. But before you fold your bikinis, tuck you surfing boards, and move on from summer. Give your self one push for the summer of 2017. Be it on your favorite beach, on the solitude of the forest or just at home having a barbecue party with the family. It’s your call. End it with a blast. No regrets.” – Aly, at somewhere Island, 5-28-17. 

A Letter to My Friend Whose Relationship Started Wrong

Dear my friend, we have know each other for some years now. We hang out. You cry, I listen. I am always your neutral ground. You tell me the lies I need to know in order for your mother to never knew the truth. But that is not why I am writing this. I am writing because our friendship has turned to sour as you always choose him. 

When you confess about the relationship of the two of you, I understand. I never said any negative but encourage you if you really meant those feelings. I was hoping you will find your way by then. Learn to never took for granted your current relationship with other guy who is doing his best for the two of you to work out. And learnt to admit that you are also at fault in this complicated relationship. I wish for you that the relationship you choose is toxic. You cry because of him, you made horrible choices because of him, but then you forgive him. I saw you happy, and then you cry again and it becomes a cycle after few months. 

You asked for my advice, I give. You asked for my time, I give. You asked for a listener, I never complain. My shoulder is always for you to lean on. But then I also got tired. I got tired that whatever I said to you fall in deaf ears. Whatever I say about him you brush it off. For you he is everything and I disagree. For a guy should never asked you to go if you parents had come to see you even without notice. That’s when I realized I cannot be the friend you needed. I can no longer tolerate it. 

My friend, I don’t want to go away. But this time. I have to stay away. For a while. I cannot help if you are closing your hearts to the negative opinion and honest observation of your friends in this relationship. I don’t want to see you hurt so bad. But then I wish you will be hurt so bad and see the people who was hurt in this relationship and learn to realize the things that went wrong. You feel the pain of the person who cried for the love that was not returned. For a love that was played like a fool. 

“Unless one accepted his/her mistake and asked for forgiveness a relationship that started wrong can never end right.” – Aly

Thinking and Falling

Thinking and Falling

Why are you stuck in my head? There is nothing between us. We are just friends. Nothing more, nothing else. Yeah, sure we hang out. We laugh. For pete’s sake we have the same circle of friends. We are bound to meet. But why am I feeling this way? Why am I thinking about you? Looking forward to the next time we meet? Am I falling? That’s impossible! I’m only thinking of you yet my heart is beating fast. Is it really possible to fall inlove this way? I’m doomed.