A Letter to My Friend Whose Relationship Started Wrong

Dear my friend, we have know each other for some years now. We hang out. You cry, I listen. I am always your neutral ground. You tell me the lies I need to know in order for your mother to never knew the truth. But that is not why I am writing this. I am writing because our friendship has turned to sour as you always choose him. 

When you confess about the relationship of the two of you, I understand. I never said any negative but encourage you if you really meant those feelings. I was hoping you will find your way by then. Learn to never took for granted your current relationship with other guy who is doing his best for the two of you to work out. And learnt to admit that you are also at fault in this complicated relationship. I wish for you that the relationship you choose is toxic. You cry because of him, you made horrible choices because of him, but then you forgive him. I saw you happy, and then you cry again and it becomes a cycle after few months. 

You asked for my advice, I give. You asked for my time, I give. You asked for a listener, I never complain. My shoulder is always for you to lean on. But then I also got tired. I got tired that whatever I said to you fall in deaf ears. Whatever I say about him you brush it off. For you he is everything and I disagree. For a guy should never asked you to go if you parents had come to see you even without notice. That’s when I realized I cannot be the friend you needed. I can no longer tolerate it. 

My friend, I don’t want to go away. But this time. I have to stay away. For a while. I cannot help if you are closing your hearts to the negative opinion and honest observation of your friends in this relationship. I don’t want to see you hurt so bad. But then I wish you will be hurt so bad and see the people who was hurt in this relationship and learn to realize the things that went wrong. You feel the pain of the person who cried for the love that was not returned. For a love that was played like a fool. 

“Unless one accepted his/her mistake and asked for forgiveness a relationship that started wrong can never end right.” – Aly

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I Can’t Forgive Myself So Please Forgive Me

I’d rather have you to be cold to me
Cold so I Can Leave You
Cold so I Can Go Without Looking Back
Cold So That Everything Cannot Go Back to the way it used to be

But even when you do, I think I could but I can’t
Baby, I’m selfish I can’t let go of you
I did you many wrong
I hurt you
I push you
I made everything cruel
I made everything fall apart
Break us into pieces
But I still can’t let go and keep you looked in this twisted love

I Can’t Forgive Myself So Please Forgive Me
So please when I plead don’t listen to me
Don’t listen to my cry
Never turn your back and give me one last glance
Don’t give me a break
Don’t give me a hope
Just be rough with me
So that I can never want you back

 

My Fire

My Fire

Sitting by the red-stained window
Looking at the silent sky
Out of habit, I call your name
Tears silently falls in my eyes
I knew there would be no answer
I knew I can’t see you
Truth damn hurts
I feel so alone

I remember your embraced
You’re whisper in my ear
The smile I see on your lips
You said you’d protect me
I believed you
But without a single goodbye
Without any trace
You were gone

I love you
You’re my fire
Pulled by your warmth
I don’t need anything
You are everything I need
With you everythng is all right
My worries disappear
The night was peaceful
Now I’m lying in this cold bed
Bleeding silently

Days passed by
In a blink of an eye it has been years
All are meaningless days filled with fact your not here
The future we built
Like a tower it fell
Your embrace that held even my despair
Your eyes that looks at me with admiration
Your touch that havoc my system
It all turned to ash

You’re my Fire
The moment you die
So is my heart
I miss you
So much it .. hurts

 

Forced Love

Everyone goes around trying to find their soulmate, but no matter how hard they look, they can never find it. So instead, they force two bodies together. Everyone wants to use that short time they have together to open their hearts, even if it’s just a one night dream bought with money or perhaps lust.