The Art of Smiling

Long ago, I already master the art of faking
Faking that I am fine
Faking that I am well
Faking that I am happy
Faking that everything is all right
Fooling everyone with my smile
But I am not fine
I was never fine
I was broken inside and no one can see it
No one tries to ask
Are you happy behind your smile?

In this world full of mouth
I become the ears
I listen to your story
I listen to your problem
Without any second thought and hesitation
I was there
But have you ever wonder why I was willing
Why I was always there ready to listen?
Perhaps no
Cause all you see is my smile

The answer is simple
I know the pain when no one is there
When no one listens
When no one hears your cry
When no one sees your tears
And the most painful
When no one understands

So tell me how can I tell them my pain
When no one can even see right pass your smile
No one can even say that’s a fake smile
When society rejects the monster inside you
When people frown upon this monster
That is why the art of pretending has been mastered
But I’m waiting that someone like a storm would come
Wipe the smile and see the tears falling
And asked me that question
If I am Okay

 

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Hallucinations

In this place where I trapped myself
I want to roll in the darkness
What controls me
What lives inside of me
There are so many things inside of me
This monster I keep fighting
The memories I throw away
The love which I had deleted in me
Someone, please wake me up
Find the real me
Help the broken me
I’m trying to erase my nightmares
But I can, rather I won’t
Please find me
To be held and embrace by you
Wake me up
Filled me with you
Leave me not
And finally, kiss me

Once in a lifetime

Everyday
I pray
Help me through the day
Make myself stronger
Right now
The dreams I’ve longed for
Slowly
Approaching me
Unfolding
I close my eyes
I hear
Someone’s prayer
Entering my heart
Warming my body
Comforting my soul
Washing away all troubles
I’ll be fine
The that will come
I believe that

I Can’t Forgive Myself So Please Forgive Me

I Can’t Forgive Myself
So Please Forgive Me

I’d rather have you to be cold to me
Cold so I Can Leave You
Cold so I Can Go Without Looking Back
Cold So That Everything Cannot Go Back to the way it used to be

But even when you do, I think I could but I can’t
Baby, I’m selfish I can’t let go of you
I did you many wrong
I hurt you
I push you
I made everything cruel
I made everything fall apart
Break us into pieces
But I still can’t let go and keep you looked in this twisted love

I Can’t Forgive Myself So Please Forgive Me
So please when I plead don’t listen to me
Don’t listen to my cry
Never turn your back and give me one last glance
Don’t give me a break
Don’t give me a hope
Just be rough with me
So that I can never want you back

Don’t give me a break
Don’t give me hope, to me
Just be rough with me
So that I can never want you
Just don’t come back
Just don’t come back to me

Perfect Man

Time doesn’t stop
Crime doesn’t stop
So I won’t stop till I’m sitting on top
I won’t go through the ordeal of not having you
Even if my breath ends
I will never leave your side
I want it to be you
Cause you’re the only one
I’ll have you, my perfect man
Till I drop